He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
It's no shave November. This is our time.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
