Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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