I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
