Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
