Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
