i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
