I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
