i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
