Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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