They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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