Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
then he tried to convert me to islam
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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