It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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