he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
