I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Found the puke drawer
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
