Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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