You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize