I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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