hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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