tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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