I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
