My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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