He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
