mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
