I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
