So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
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Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
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So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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