This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
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