Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
