You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
