Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
