Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
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