I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
