I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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