If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize