we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize