I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize