You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
