So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
