he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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