you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Less talking, more tequila
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
