Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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