"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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