Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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