She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
