My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I still have a little drunk in my system
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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