I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
