What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
