Please, let me fuck your mom
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
