The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
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