sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
It's never too late to be topless.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
