Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
