She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
