I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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