Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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