dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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