The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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