yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize
