I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
