Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
