remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
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