I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
