There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
