Pants 0. Shit 1.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
