There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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