You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
