he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
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