OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
