But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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